Guy: "I saw you mowing Saturday" (Big Grin and quick glances at boobs)
Me: "Yeah, I was behind and spent the day mowing"
Guy: "You mow in your bathing suit. You looked good." (Longer glances, bigger grin and creepy eyebrow wiggle)
Me: "Yeah, uhhm, thanks?" ('this is awkward' tone )
Guy: "I can't believe 'hubby' lets you mow in your bathing suit!" (brief disapproving look before returning stare to my chest)
Me: "Uhhh, excuse me but 'LET ME' ?!?" (extremely pissy tone)
Guy: "Just didn't think he would approve. I wouldn't!" (mouth breathing while staring at my chest)
......And the conversation pretty much deteriorated from there.
Ok, really? First off, what is it with talking to boobs? I just don't get it. Yes...I have boobs...whoopeeee! Doesn't everyone? Some are bigger than others but really, a boob is a boob, right? My boobs don't talk, they know a few tricks but won't ever make to onto Ripley's, and they haven't really been useful for over 15 years. Yeah, they are fun a couple hours a day/week, but are mostly a pain in the back. Having big boobs doesn't effect my IQ level and I haven't named them, other than calling them "The Girls" on occasion. While I am not embarrassed by them, I don't flaunt them out in public a whole lot. I have modesty issues, remember? Usually, I forget they are there, until a mouth breather reminds me or they get in my way.
Yes, I wear a bathing suit top when I mow so I have a significant tan line. I can assure you that this mowing top is in no way a compromise to my modesty. Probably a bit more revealing than the tank tops I wear daily in the summer, but not much more. It's not like I am out there w/ a couple strings and triangles covering only the bare minimum to keep me from being arrested. (shudder, that just wouldn't be very good of me to do) And why on earth would I need Hubby's permission? Pretty sure it's my body to show or cover as I see fit. As for the guys I work with..I think most of them either think of me as one of the guys or someone who is their mom's age. I don't think half of them realize I am female most days. I was surprised that last Saturday night though; one of the guys we were with informed hubby that he should "let me" go topless to get rid of my tan line. I was amazed that the guy had the courage to tell hubby he was looking down my shirt, first off, as hubby is a pretty good sized guy to be saying this to. Secondly, I was impressed w/ hubby for only telling the guy that my tan line was my business. Ten years ago he probably woulda knocked the guy out, lol!
Ok, so I can kinda get it a little bit, some guys are "boob" guys. Some are "leg" guys, some are "ass" guys and so on. I get that because, hey..guess what? Women have certain things they like to look at and admire on the opposite sex too. Personally, when I notice a man, one of the first things I notice is his eyes. I just love pretty eyes that show warmth, humor and intelligence! (That's my brain asserting itself.) The eyes are normally followed by his hands. Are they soft and girly or strong, firm and manly? I don't want girly hands on a man! (That's the hormonal/perv side of me asserting itself) I am also a big voice person, the deeper the better! (Sam Elliot style:YUM! ((shivers)) Talk to me baby!) And yes, I do notice their overall body, especially the arms and ass. Those are the things that attract my attention when first meeting someone. But, I will say that I have never stared at any body part, other than eye contact, when carrying on a conversation with a man. (But, just maybe I have, on occasion, taken a quick picture from a distance to share w/ my like-minded perverted friends of an exceptionally fine specimen.)
But ladies, do you ever find yourself checking out a guys junk openly? When I sit here and think about it, I probably have glanced (yeah, I know I have) but I sure don't focus my attention on that area of their body for an extended period of time while trying to hold up my end of the conversation. Pretty sure if all of us women started talking to the "package" on the guys, they might get a clue...or a boner?
So...for all you "boob" guys out there...here are the rules:
#1 Looking/glancing (less than 30 seconds during a 5 minute interval) is usually OK. It can be kinda flattering, given the right circumstances.
#2 Talking to boobs instead of the woman, in a social setting is usually a no-no
#3 Talking to boobs instead of the woman, in ANY professional setting is ALWAYS a no-no!
#4 When talking to a woman you really don't know, never EVER give her the creepy eyebrow wiggle. It's just wrong!
#5 Titties is not a good word to use often...really, it isn't!
#6 Look us in the eye...trust me, it will only hurt the first time ;)
Happy Tuesday Folks!
