As Hubby and I quickly approach our 23rd year of wedded bliss, I am forced to look back over the years, mostly with wonder but, I will admit, also with a little bit of dismay. Is it possible that I have been married over half of my life? No matter that my age will soon be 43, most days I still feel (and admittedly act) like a 20-something. That ain't all bad though...seems like some people tend to enjoy me and my quirky/snarky/obnoxious/kind personality.
I remember, way back in the day when the kids were small, looking around at my piles of laundry, dirty dishes in the sink, floors needing cleaned, beds needing made, and basically saying "screw it". My philosophy at that time is that there will be plenty of time when my boys are bigger to worry about that shit. You know what? I must have been wise beyond my years, because that is exactly right! As hubby and I settle comfortably into what can only be referred to as middle age, my house is cleaner, admittedly due to having a cleaning lady, my laundry is usually done, dishes are clean and I rarely have a panic attack if unexpected visitors stop by. There are no longer Legos, hot wheels, video games, crackers and cookies, and all the other kid paraphernalia strung all over the house, that will inevitably be tripped over, crushed, or stepped on. This brings me to the topic of the day/week/month depending on how creative I feel.
I think every parent is guilty of saying/thinking something along the lines of "I will be glad when...". This can be finished off with several comments: ...he can finally support his own head, ...when he crawls, ...when he walks, ...when he is potty trained, ...when he starts school, ...when I am no longer a chauffer. About the time my oldest started driving is when I began to regret every single one of those thoughts. I would have gladly gone back to the day I thought each one of them and try to slow things down. I would have taken more time to really enjoy those little things that I may not have fully appreciated. Instead of grumbling about having to help with the homework, I would enjoy that one on one time. Instead of checking my watch, wondering when I would be able to get back to work or home, I would have sat there and enjoyed my child learning how to field a grounder, shoot a free throw, spank himself during the Christmas program, and so on. But, alas, you can't go back and change how you did things. I do know that Hubby and I have worked hard for 23 years to provide our kids a good home, good morals, self reliance and a strong sense of family. That's something we are both very proud of and think that we did a damn good job of.
Now as the time has flown by, Hubby and I often find ourselves alone with each other with nothing to do. We no longer have to worry about picking someone up from school or practice, running them here or there, checking math facts, or sending them to bed. This has been quite the adjustment for us..and to be honest, a whole new getting to know each other period in our lives. We have spent the last 23 years being totally focused on the kids. We were PARENTS, not Suzi and Hubby. The world revolved, as it should, around the kids, their needs, and work. There wasn't a whole lot of Suzi & Hubby time and when we did have it, all we would talk about was school, kid troubles/achievements, and work. Now, as our children make their own way more and more, we finally have the time to get to know each other once again. Thankfully, we still like each other!
I used to think that when people hit a certain age that they were "set" in their marriage. I mean really, after 10 or 15 years, what could possibly go wrong? I sure wasn't very wise in that area now was I? As Hubby and I have worked our way through these growing pains, I can more understand the divorce rate. PLEASE, don't read into this that Hubby and I are on the verge! That couldn't be further from the truth! I am just sharing some knowledge that I have acquired. People are so darn busy with work, play, etc that sometimes we forget to say and do the little things that mean so much. The very simple "thank you" that we all sometimes forget, the unexpected hug and/or kiss that happens "just because". What I have learned, as these pains have all but ceased, is to slow down, relax, and listen. Enjoy every moment as much as possible. It's amazing how much of a difference it can make when you show the same courtesy, care and compassion to your loved one as you do to the stranger on the street. Random acts of kindness should always start at home, for the people who see you at your worst.
Just my thoughts today! Wishing you all get a random hug and kiss from someone who loves you!!
