I see it every day and scratch my head in wonder. Little Johnny failed his math test, it must be the teachers fault. Little Sally isn't getting to play all the innings in a ball game, someone must be sucking up to the coach. Benny's meth lab blew up in the basement, it must be society's fault. What confuses me is that nobody ever says that little Johnny failed his test because he didn't study, Sally isn't getting to play as much because she doesn't work as hard at practice and Benny's meth lab blew up because he is a drug dealer (who probably failed chemistry, damn you chemistry teacher!).
Everyday people are making excuses for failing. As a society, we seem to be failing at teaching our kids and peers the value of accountability. If the kids today are told a failure is always due to "X" mitigating factor, will they ever accept the one true truth, sometimes shit just doesn't work out the way we want. Next time work harder, perform better, and you will probably have a better result.
When I was a kid, I played basketball. I wasn't a flashy player who threw out triple-doubles every game. I had a little natural ability but honestly didn't always work as hard as I was capable of. I never remember my parents going to the coach and asking why I wasn't starting or getting the same playing time as some of the others. I DO remember complaining about my lack of playing time to them early on and their response was "if you want it, work for it!". Those lessons very early in life taught me a lot. I started playing ball in 5th grade and guess what? There was a winner and a loser in EVERY game! We kept score, we learned the basic skills and we learned how to win and lose gracefully. And, at the end of the season we got a trophy. That trophy proudly proclaimed what position our team placed in the league, whether we were champions and got the BIG trophy or we finished dead last and got the itty bitty trophy. While we were recognized for playing the sport, we always knew if we wanted our picture in the paper with the big trophy we had to bust our asses and earn it.
Every week (day??) I deal with people who refuse to accept the responsibility for their actions or lack thereof. It doesn't seem to sink in that they are ultimately responsible for the result of their actions. If I send them to perform a certain task and find them hiding out in a break room, inevitably it isn't THEIR fault. It's my fault because I checked up on them, or it's their managers fault because he didn't do the job for them, or it's a co-workers fault because they just don't like them. REALLY? What happened to, 'yeah, I screwed up'? I don't get it. Really, to be perfectly honest, it's starting to completely piss me off! I work hard for my salary. I don't have the owner standing over me telling me every step to take to complete my days work. I understand that it's my responsibility to do the job I was hired for. My boss owes me nothing but a paycheck at the end of the day. If I want my paycheck to grow then by god, I know it's on my shoulders to do what is on my daily task list as well as handle any curve balls that are thrown my way, all to the best of my ability. I don't half-ass my tasks and when I screw up, it's my job to call him and say "Yup, I screwed up!" I work for what I want and understand that is how to move ahead. What ever happened to hard work = big reward lessons?
Yes, I tend to blame parenting on a lot of the younger generation's issues. We push our kids so hard to out perform everyone, but don't take the time to just let them be kids. Kids screw up. They get into trouble, they get hurt and they hurt us. That's just LIFE. When my little guy got into a fight at school, I didn't blame the administration for taking the disciplinary action they did. He was fully aware of the consequences of fighting in school before he threw the punch. Kids fight, and when they fight in school they face disciplinary action. I was proud of him for not making excuses or trying to shift the blame. It was all on him and he owned it, Period. Look back at your childhood and then look at how you are with your own kids. When you failed a test, did your mom blame it on the teacher or on you? If you got a speeding ticket, was it your fault or the cops fault for picking on you? If all we ever give our children is excuses for their actions, then that is all they will ever have, An Excuse!
Personally, I think the damn "Participation Trophy" philosophy is the root of a lot of this. Kids are taught at an early age, no matter how hard they work, they will get the same reward as everyone else. And that if they screw up, it's not really their fault because Mom and/or Dad will place the blame everywhere but on them. Little Johnny is the best player on the team, he never has to sit out or play in the outfield. Of course, parents can't say to their kid, "Johnny is the shit and plays his heart out. He never misses a practice or game, he goes as hard as he can every time. Learn from him! Work as hard as he does and you will get better. But prepare yourself, you may NEVER be as good as Johnny." Nope, we say "Hell, if we had Johnny's parents connections (money, sucking up ability, etc) you would play just as much as he does".
All in all, I think the only "Participation Trophy" that will count is the headstone I am buried under. THAT marker will be the one that shows how well I played this game called "Life". I figure if there are 10 people who stand over that marker who love me and will genuinely miss me, then I am an MVP. It won't matter what my net worth was or what place I finished in with my little league team. All that will count is the fact that those 10 people knew who I was inside and out and loved me for just those reasons alone.
