Self discovery at it's finest!

It’s that time of year. The time we all sit back and take stock of our lives. At least I do. I find that I am much more aware of everything around me during this time of year. This has been a year of big change for me. I have learned more about myself in the last 12 months than the previous 40 years. I finally have figured out a few things about myself that I really never knew. Maybe I did know them just didn’t ever truly embrace them.

First thing I learned about myself: I am a pretty darn strong woman. Not physically because in all honesty, I am a wimp on that end of things. I am speaking from the emotional side of things. I feel like 2013 has been my year for adversity and damnit when I look back, I think I handled my shit pretty darn well and have come to this day a much better person who is at peace with herself and those in my life.

Second thing is that overall, I AM a good person. I don’t go back on my word, I am a kind and caring soul, and I stand by my friends and family through it all and they do the same for me. I would never sacrifice a friendship to better myself, I do everything in my power to help those I can, and god help you if you try to hurt someone I care for. And yes, I have finally realized that I deserve this wonderful life that I have. If that sounds cocky then so be it as I have also become a lot more confident in myself and my opinions.

Third thing: We are blessed that my son has brought a new young woman into our family along with her darling little girl. Hubby and I are both enjoying the “unofficial” grandparent role that we are playing. Hubby is keeping the candy dish full of M&M’s and loves feeding her chocolate and Mt. Dew. Who would ever thought we would enjoy picking out clothing and toys for girls?? We both think we are going to enjoy spoiling that little turd. I will tell you one thing, this young woman and her little girl are making my son the happiest I have seen him in a long time and that just warms my heart like you can’t imagine.

The last, really major revelation about myself is that I DO actually care what people think about me. I have lived most of my life saying I don’t give two shits what people think about me. And to a point that is true. I am perfectly comfortable leaving the house in my sweat pants, ball cap, no shower and no make-up or I am just as comfortable going out, dressed up and looking good. If someone wants to judge me based on my appearance then I can do nothing about that. But when it comes to my character I have found that I do care. I have went through a bit of character assassination during the past year and that really bothers me. Not so much about who is saying it but that people may actually think that it is a true picture of who/what I am. While I have come to understand I can’t change what people may think of me in that case, I do care that they think it and try my best daily to disprove the rumors. Don’t get me wrong, I am still going to express myself loudly and proudly. I am still probably going to have nights that I drink too much and act like a fool, I am still going to share my inappropriate thoughts on Facebook, and I am still going to be the smartass that y’all love.

All in all, it’s been a good year. I am looking forward to next year and am excited about all of the possibilities that are out there. Not just for me but for everyone. I have never been one to make resolutions at New Years. Hell, why waste my breath? I am much more comfortable saying the following statements:

To my husband: You are my best friend and the love of my life. You keep me grounded when I need to be, you hold me back from punching people when I lose my temper, (even though you probably would like to put a gag on me as well) and you put up with my weirdness with the tolerance and patience of a saint. I will keep doing all the things I do that make you shake your head while grinning. You are my rock.

To my kids: I will continue to love and support you no matter what. I will appreciate what you do and will treasure the joy you bring me. I will push you to achieve everything you are capable of and will be your biggest cheerleader while you make it happen. I know how blessed I really am. Take all the lessons you learn and pass them on as you grow.

To my friends: I will be there for anything you need and will never turn my back on you. I will defend you to my last breath, I will drink with you until we are all stupid, and I may occasionally laugh so hard I piss my pants. And the really neat thing is, you will all do the same for and with me!

It is my sincerest wish to any and all who read this that you find yourself surrounded by family, friends and love during the holiday season. Take the time to really enjoy and appreciate all that you have and maybe try to share that with someone who isn’t as fortunate as you are. Peace and Love my friends! Merry Christmas!

Infomercial Temptations!

Hubby is a connoisseur of infomercial buying. He just loves the gadgets and gizmos that people are hawking late at night. Through the years we have experimented with everything from Ginsu knives to Eggies. (Don’t waste your money on either!)

There was a time about 12 years ago that he had a fairly severe knee injury that happened at work. He was laid up at home, on crutches and pretty much couch bound. Apparently this isn’t a good combo for him because about day 3 of this I return home from work w/ the kids and find him asleep on the couch with the cordless phone in one hand and his credit card in the other. EEEK! 4 – 6 weeks later, his purchases start rolling in. WOW was about all I could say to this phenomenon. I resolved then and there to do everything I could to block this type of purchase in the future.

Low and behold, 4-6 weeks ago (you know, they always say “please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery”) Hubby musta had a relapse. I went to the mailbox yesterday and found a large package crammed in there. Not thinking too much about it as I had been doing a lot of online shopping, I took it home and opened it up. “StuffZ”? What in the world is this? And why are there 3 of them??

After reading the directions I realize that we have another gadget in our kitchen. This handy, dandy little gadget lets you make stuffed hamburgers in your very own kitchen, with little mess and lots of fun, so the advert says anyway. I check out the gizmo and put it together…hmmm, this could be a neat way to fix up a burger, why not? I thaw out hamburger, fry up some bacon, shred cheese, and slice up some jalapeno peppers. Over the course of the next 90 minutes I proceed to say a whole lot of cuss words and probably threw a thing or two across the kitchen. Yes, it really took me 90 minutes to make 8 “stuffed” burgers. Hubby comes home and is all excited that his purchase arrived and the product of this new gadget is cooking on the grill.

To be perfectly honest, once I got the hang of working this tool, it was a pretty neat idea and the burgers turned out very good. I was just surprised how long the learning curve was! I don’t think I will do this every time I grill burgers, but to mix things up now and then, it was probably $9.99 (maybe) well spent.

One a different note, December is considered “pay it forward” month. Take some time, and maybe a dollar or ten and do something kind for a complete stranger. If you can’t spare any money, give yourself by helping physically. You never know when it may be you who needs that helping hand.

Hubby and I donated to be able to ride a party bus last weekend. We went with old friends and made many new friends. While some of the stories may not be suitable for public consumption, let me suffice it to say it was one HELL of a good time and for a worthy cause that we were proud to support.

I wish you all the best during this holiday season!