Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Nature vs. Nurture?

With the bombing in Boston this week it seems we are back on the viscous roller coaster of blame. It's the Internets fault, the bomb making instructions are right there. It's the guns fault not the one pulling the trigger. It's the pressure cookers fault, because you can just buy them on the shelf. It's the parents fault because they raised the terrorist. At what point to we just realize that the world is kinda fucked up and that monsters live among us.

Are monsters made or are they born? I personally think both. I saw a Facebook post that hit me wrong. While I actually like the person that posted this and have enjoyed their company when around them, I took issue with their opinion. Yes, I know...they are entitled to their opinion just the same as I am and I am not disputing this in anyway. What really bothered me is the possibility that many who are in that generation would agree with what was stated. True, new generation = new ideas..I totally get that and embrace that, usually. Maybe I am starting to show my age a bit, but some of the ideas I hear out of our future leaders scare me just a bit.

The post stated "if crazy, unstable people would just stop making babies then this world would be better. we wouldn't have to worry about guns and bombs being used for the wrong reasons. i just can't get over how worthless people are. so sad!"

The whole tone of the post bothered me on many levels. #1 being that "crazy, unstable" people shouldn't have kids. Aren't each and every one of us crazy or unstable in someones eyes? Who should assume the responsibility of deciding who can have kids and who can't? I personally have had my own battles w/ anxiety and depression. (as most adults have). Does that mean I shouldn't have had my kids? Does that mean my boys are more likely to go out and do something awful? I don't think so. Mental illness isn't always an excuse for a person's actions but on the other hand it isn't a tool that should be used against you either. Should I have been sterilized because I have had battles with my demons? Is that what things may come to? If so then all I can say is YIKES! If I follow the posters thinking then the world would be a better place without my children and call me crazy/unstable, I just don't believe that. If you are fortunate enough to know my children, than you know that all in all they make the world around them a better place, either by their honor, humor, dignity or innate kindness.

Number 2 that bothered me is the perpetual blame that is placed on parents. At what point does it stop being the parents fault? Yes, there are some sick and fucked up parents out there. And yes, some of the messed up parents have incredibly messed up kids. I agree totally with that assumption. On the other hand there are very good people whose children have become monsters. At what point does the "child" have to take responsibility for their own actions? I believe that most of us are born with the ability to know right from wrong. While our childhood may tarnish those ingrained instincts, they are still there and it is up to us what we choose to do, right or wrong. Every one of us has the capability of being a monster. Fortunately, 99% of us choose not to be one.

The whole nature vs nurture thing just doesn't sit well with me. Could you take a person that was born "good" and turn them into a monster? Yeah, you could. Can you take a person that was born "evil" and change them? Honestly, I don't know, but my gut says no.

The last thing that bothered me was the closing remark that said "i can't get over how worthless people are". That one made me snort. While there ARE worthless people in the world, again I tend to think that 99% of us are pretty good overall. When we watched the coverage of the Boston bombings, we saw people who were running toward the site to help. Same thing w/ the twin towers, pentagon, etc. Society as a whole is not comprised of worthless people. The cynicism really is upsetting to me coming from such a young person. Yes, our kids have been exposed to more senseless murder and terrorism than we ever were, but they have also seen an amazing number of unsung heroes who just do what they can to help.

Happy Wednesday folks!  

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