Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The chick in the hat(s).......

Another day filled with hats. Not the ones that continually cover up my bad hair days, but the metaphorical hats we all wear everyday. Have you ever really thought about all the different hats you wear on a daily basis? For some reason, this has been on my mind a lot the past few days. Here are just a few "hats" from my life:

The MOM hat...you put it on when you give birth and you NEVER take it off. That is just the way it is. Whether you are praising your children, giving them the hell they may need, encouraging them in their endeavors, cautioning them against jumping off a bridge w/out looking, applying a band-aid to the butt crack burn from launching bottle rockets from said area, or teaching the little shits how to keep the truck out of the ditch (or how to get it OUT of the ditch). It becomes a permanent fixture, just like your eye color. You couldn't pry the mom hat off of me no matter what. It is also the most gratifying hat I have.

The WIFE hat...while this hat is not a permanent fixture for some, it is for me. My husband is my best friend. He has seen the good, bad, crazy, and hormonal Suzi and still keeps on walking with me. Whether we are bitching about bills, going on a date night, working side by side, arguing over political issues, holding hands as we fall asleep, flirting and fighting, laughing and playing, he is why I do what I do. I will admit that this hat is sometimes paired up with a "BITCHY" hat, an "OMG!!" hat, a "REALLY?" hat or a many other variations of the same. This hat is what keeps my head on straight and keeps me going in the right way on a day by day basis and I am grateful for it.

The FRIEND hat...this one is also firmly in place. My friends are my family. We laugh, cry, stumble, argue, commiserate, drink and hold each other up when needed. I try to be whatever I need to be to fulfill my friend duty. We grow and change and our friends grow and change, but I would like to think that a friend is always there. Please, don't ever confuse a "friend" with a "casual friend" or with an "acquaintance". Those are not the same in my book. If I hug you, if I tell you my problems, if you have seen me cry more than once, if I reach out for you when I am hurting or scared, if I ask you for your help in my darkest times, if I expose all the bad parts of me knowing that you won't care one way or the other, then you are a friend. Good or bad, you are stuck with me.

The SISTER hat...I feel that I need to rotate this one up towards the top more than I do. My brother is pretty awesome and he really watches out for his little sister. He has no idea of how much I value him as my brother and respect him for the man he is. I often wonder if he knows that he can turn to me for help whenever he needs it? I sure hope so....more and more everyday....

The WORK hat...Believe it or not, I do have a professional side, but it's kinda hard for me to maintain this persona away from my job or for extended periods of time. It is probably best that I work in an office by myself over half the time. This hat is the most easily removed, although it never makes it onto a hat rack. It's usually on the bar or bathroom vanity ready to be put back on at any moment.

The HELPER hat...is sometimes the most difficult and heart breaking to wear but is also one of the easiest to take off and put back on, which we all do several times a day. Even if we don't realize it. While we may not all show this "hat" to those around us, when it is not on our head, most of us have it in our hand ready to whip it back where it belongs.

When I stop and think about all the different Hats I wear everyday, sometimes it freaks me out. And really, those listed above don't come close to touching each role we all play daily. I like to think I am pretty good at putting all of these on and that I wear them comfortably. Some days, I will admit, one or two of the above hats may not get all they deserve but I do my best. During my dad's final days, all these hats got mighty heavy and to be honest, sometimes pretty awkward to balance. There were times that I just didn't think I could take one more step with so many on my head. But when I tried to take one or two of them off so I could just have a "Suzi" moment I realized something. Everyone of these hats make me who I am.

I believe that I am a better person because I have so many hats to wear. I am usually a good mom. My kids know they can lean on me whenever they need to and that I am there for them. I am a good wife. Although some might consider me a handful, I don't think Phillip would trade me in, at least not 5 days out of 7. All the rest of the hats I have fulfill something in me that I need and hopefully give those around me something they need in their lives. And really...who couldn't use a little more Suzi in their lives?? Anyway, that is my introspective peek at myself for today...Have a happy Wednesday.


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